If you did not know a thing about cyclocross, and you turned on the TV and found yourself watching the world championships in Dübendorf, you might have thought it was the silliest sport ever invented.

The riders seemed to be off their bikes as much as they were on them. They slipped and slid and stumbled up stairs to nowhere with their machines on their shoulders. Still, it could not have been the world hike-a-bike championships. There wasn't a hill in sight. Instead, the colourful bunch of 'cyclists' raced laps around a pan-flat old military airbase. Could they not find a mountain in Switzerland?

When they were on their bikes, the riders could hardly turn their pedals over. The muck was thick and threatened to come up over their axles.

Substitute euro-pop for country, lycra for denim, bier for beer, and it could almost have been the world human-powered muddin' championships.